My ~Love Scenario~: iKON fangirling story

Old iKONics witnessed EVERYTHING about them as it was happening whereas, the downpour of emotions they went through for years, I felt all of them --- in 7 days.

Yes, I officially called myself as an iKONic in 7 days. That's how talented and worth stanning they are.

And yes, I used an old photo to start this because I stan both B.I and iKON, iKON with B.I and iKON today. ❤️

How did I start? I watched Kingdom -- I KNOW. Some of you might say, WHY THAT SHOW? Allow me to explain.

A LITTLE BACKSTORY.

When Kingdom was airing, I messaged an iKONic friend and asked her "why is iKON in Kingdom? Aren't they too big for that show?" -- this is me asking without knowing the format of the survival show and not stanning iKON at the time. On July 2021, during the K Contact 4U online concert, my Youtube automatically played iKON's set right after watching CNBLUE's.

I was going to click on next, but stopped when I saw a red wine hair colored guy in the middle. I paused, rewind, play, paused again and finally shared the video to the same iKONic friend and asked:

I forgot about this conversation after sometime.

It was early in June of this year when I started stanning their label mate, Winner (read Rai's Winner fangirling story) Any pre-debut Winner and iKON stan would know that you can't just listen to one and not know the other. The fate of these boys have been somehow intertwined since their trainee days that they appeared in the (intense and brutal, if I may say) survival show WIN: Who is Next? as rivals.

During the survival show, they were called "Team B" -- being the younger group and the last to be completed. Both groups mentioned a few times in the show that it was a hard show to do because they were against friends who of course had the same dream as them --- to debut.

I will be honest in saying that when I started watching it, I was Team A all the way. But something about iKON made me rewatch the show with my focus solely on them. I don't know if I was some sort of masochist, because it was as painful when I first watched it for Winner. If you haven't watched it, don't get me wrong, there were a lot of fun times too. It's just that knowing all the things they have gone through and watching it too late like I did made me feel a rollercoaster of emotions. Although, - I just need to say this -- they had to lose in this show. Why? Because CHANWOO needed to be in the equation. If not for that loss, we won't have our Maknae On Top as we do today.

From iKON's Debut Song "My Type"

I ended up watching MIX&MATCH (around the same time I watched Kingdom) — again, another survival program for the boys where in the final line up for “iKON” will be determined. During this period, both B.I and Bobby were also in another survival program, “Show Me The Money Season 3”

Watching these shows almost all at the same time or one after the other was not a good idea. Learning their journey by watching all these shows caused me a week of sleepless nights and mood swings that even myself cannot understand anymore. I was laughing one time, crying the next and sometimes I would stare into space imagining what it could've been if I was there to witness everything unfold real time.

Naturally, like all other groups, I would influence my bestfriend so that I'd have someone with me while getting sucked into the point of no return. For weeks we would talk about how painful and how heartbreaking it was after everything they have gone through. From time to time though, we would discover many other reasons to stan them. While we were at it, my bestfriend realized he was a BOBBY-bias and me? Well, I was consistent -- JINHWAN is still my bias, just like how he caught my eye a year ago. Our wrecker, that would be HANBIN (B.I) for us both.

If you read Rai's Winner fangirling story, she briefly mentioned how we were very particular about stanning talent first and the looks is just a plus. It was the same story for iKON. At first, we were really impressed with their dancing in all WIN: Who is Next? episodes. Even when I watched the show for WINNER, I had to admit that their dancing was next level at that time and that they deserved all the praises they got for it.

At the same time, we were greatly amazed with B.I's leadership and songwriter-producer skills. Like what our favorite vloggers (JasAndAndy) would say, B.I has a way with words. It's poetry. I think it's safe to say that the songs they performed for the show, "CLIMAX" and "Long Time No See" (Co-written with BOBBY) are enough to make iKONics cry.

Later on into this iKON rabbit hole that I entered (mind you, I said that I would start listening to them next year, but my heart cannot resist Jinhwan and well, ALL OF THEM) We realized how much of a strong vocalist JUNHOE is. Remember those adlibs in Climax? How much potential there was in YUNHYEONG and DK. How much of a beautiful human CHANWOO is and how he would be more handsome when he grows much older. And how Bobby's 2017 "Love and Fall" album was a gold mine.

And much later on, while my heart was refusing to find out more about what happened to B.I (like WIN and MIX&MATCH wasn't painful enough) I felt like I had the responsibility to learn more about it if I was going to love both iKON and B.I wholeheartedly. Many articles, videos, and stories from fans later and just as I thought, the scandal he had was just shocking and sad as I expected.

Did I love B.I less after that? NO. Definitely not. While this might be an unpopular opinion (and I will probably get some hate for saying this) He really was young and stupid at that time for having chosen to be in that situation, but it does not make him less human. If any, this incident made him bloom to be a better human and much more in touch with reality as an artist. I won't divulge on this more (too painful), but speaking personally from experience, incidents like this make you or break you. And for B.I, I believe he has found a path that would make him. The work he has done as a solo artist today speaks volume -- how he has matured as a person and as an artist.

From all the shows, contents, and articles I've consumed post-B.I, I also felt that the group was at a loss. Sadness could be seen in their faces no matter how energetic they try to be on stage. The I Decide EP was probably a hard album to put out for them as well, as most of the songs were still co-produced by B.I.

In 2021, it was believed by fans that their Digital Single "Why Why Why" was dedicated to him. Well, it could be. It could be a lot of other things too, but one thing was obvious in this song, apart from it being a masterpiece, it clearly depicted the pain and loss of a loved one. And after that release, there was silence. Apart from the constant uploads of both Yunhyeong and Chanwoo on their personal YouTube channels, no music was being released.

It was in early 2021 when KINGDOM started airing. Like I said at the start, I kind of questioned why they were in that show without actually watching the show. When I finally did, I realized why. Again, this might be another unpopular opinion, but I will still say it. THEY NEEDED TO BE ON THAT SHOW.

Having been reality tv and survival show veterans, I think that KINGDOM was a way for them to feel that "burning passion" again. In one of the episodes, the members mentioned that they really didn't have any friends outside of the group and the show gave them that. It also rekindled that fighting spirit they used to have when they were trainees. I would like to believe that the show was a way for them to go back to their roots and find themselves again. Even from the first episode, I don't think winning was the end goal. They were there to have fun and create memorable performances that would satisfy them as artists and their fans who have been waiting for their comeback. I remember showing my brother their last performance -- AT EASE.

My brother doesn't know them and rarely listens to KPOP. After watching the whole performance, he just said that they genuinely looked like they were having fun and just owning the stage. He said that it felt like they were saying "You can't put us in a cage. We don't care, we will just do what we do best" --- And I was instantly shocked. For someone who doesn't know how to speak Korean and does not listen to iKON, he perfectly put into words what that final performance was about. That is why I'd like to believe that KINGDOM somewhat did them good. Maybe not the shitty camera work, but as artists it did do them some good.

After KINGDOM was the news about Bobby expecting a child and getting engaged. My reaction? I was ecstatic! I was genuinely happy for Bobby. I mean come on, how cute is that! I've had my fair share of idols I follow getting married, having children, etc. The reaction was always mixed, but always leaning more towards hate and cancellation. I was so happy to find out that iKONics weren't like that at all. Almost all of the reactions I've seen were of well wishes and how happy they are for Bobby and I couldn't be more proud that I became a part of this fandom.

Screenshot by JuliaEdits on DeviantArt

And this 2022, FLASHBACK (EP) was released. A lot of people say that iKON lost their "sound" after B.I left. Especially with their latest EP. The title track "But You" which had an 80's vibe and techno/trance feel to it, was something new for the group. They said it, the fans said. For me though, the arrangement and feel of the song might be a bit different, but it still has the iKON signature hook to it. It's still them. Personally, the song kind of felt like it still had the formula they used for Love Scenario.

I am not a music critique, but the album sounded refreshing to me. It was as if the album was saying "We're back and we're here to stay." - And I would like to believe that iKONics got the message. I did. And as a baby iKONic, I am excited and really looking forward to more of them and their music.

While their hit song, Love Scenario says: